The Insane Bionicle Chronicles
by Ninjagirl27
Summary: A series of insane oneshots starring insane Toa. I'm gonna say now, I own nothing. I'm so sad. Dedicated to my obnoxious brother who can be called Prince Pain in the Rear Tahu.
1. Chapter 1

Story 1

An Interesting Fairy Tale

_Once upon a time, on an island far, far way-_

"**Hold up! I thought you said this story was about Bionicle?" a very annoying and rude character named Tahu butted in.**

"**It is." the author, otherwise known as Nokama93, replied.**

"**Bionicle stories don't start with **_**once upon a time.**_**"**

"**Well this one does. And who's the author here? I don't see you working your fingers off at a keyboard! Now be quiet and let me tell the story."**

"**Why should I?"**

"**Because otherwise I won't let you kiss Gali at the end of the story."**

"**Okay! I'll be quiet!"**

"**Much better." the author said with an evil smile.**

_Once again, once upon a time, on an island far, far, far away-_

"**It should only be two far's." the extremely rude toa once again butted in.**

**Nokama93 then proceeded to duct tape over the lower half of his mask, aka, tape over his mouth. **

_For the third time, once upon a time, on an island far, far way there lived six friends of royal blood. Their names were Princess Gali of the Ga kingdom, Prince Lewa of the Le kingdom, Prince Onua of the Onu kingdom, Prince Pohatu of the Po kingdom, Prince Kopaka of the Ko kingdom, and Prince Royal Pain in the Rear Tahu of the Ta kingdom._

"**Hey!"**

"**Keep that mouth duct taped!" the author replied as she jumped onto the very rude toa.**

"**Hey, toa-brothers," another annoying toa called to his teammates, "Tahu just got beat up by the author!"**

"**Lewa, if you don't shut up and get back into your place, you'll be next!" the enraged author threatened.**

"**Whatcha' gonna' do? Write at me?"**

**The author then pummeled Lewa, and went back to her seat.**

"**As I was saying…" **

_All of them were very brave, even if two of them were annoying, and they kept their subjects very well protected. Everyone was living in happy peace, until the dark Lord Makuta threatened the kingdoms. The princes and princess rallied together to fight the evil entity, but were defeated again and again. One reason might have been the fact that they acted as six different beings, or it could have been that Prince Lewa was constantly flirting with Princess Gali, but the first reason is more likely. _

"**I do not flirt with Gali!"**

"**You do too." Gali replied.**

"**Both of you, stop talking and let me write the story!"**

_As I was saying…_

"**Tahu! Did you spread jelly all over my keyboard while I was breaking Lewa and Gali up?!"**

"**Why yes, yes I did."**

"**Fine! I give up. Ya'll can go ahead and do whatever you were doing before I called you to act."**

"**Yay!" everyone, except for Kopaka, yelled. Kopaka simply muttered under his breath. No, we do not want to know what he said. **

**I Gave Up**

_**Author's Note: The toa were driving me mad! I couldn't finish the story, and now my fingers smell like grape jelly!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Story 2

Hide and Go Seek

"**What kind of title is that?" **

"**You can't just let me write a simple story, can you Tahu?" Nokama93 asked weakly, knowing something bad was about to happen.**

"**I would, but you keep writing bad ones."**

"**What's that supposed to mean?!"**

"**Exactly that. You can't write a good story."**

"**Grrrrrrr."**

"**Tahu, what did you do to the author?" Onua asked the pain in the behind toa.**

"**I just told her the truth. She can't write a good story."**

"**Tahu! We're doomed! Do you have any idea what happens when the beloved author is angry?!"**

"**Awe, thanks Onua. Tahu, you're done for!" the angry girl author replied while pulling out thirteen paintbrushes. She then proceeded to paint her 4 year old cousin's make up onto Tahu's mask, tie him to a chair, and make him watch **_**Barney**_**. Then, she sent in both of her toddler cousins to torture him, meaning, steal his mask and flame swords.  
**

"**Kenzie! No! Put those down! Your mother's going to kill me!"**

"**Micah! Turn off the shield! No, put the mask ****down****! Woo, good- ah!"**

**Maybe having my cousins torture Tahu wasn't such a good idea.**

"**Kenzie! Ow! Put the swords down and leave them there!"**

_**Later that day…**_

"**You know, you never let me kiss Gali at the end of the previous story."**

"**What! You made a deal that ended up with me getting kissed?!" was Gali's shocked reply.**

"**It was the only way to get him to shut up! I was desperate!" Nokama93 replied meekly.**

"**Well… I suppose I understand. He is an obnoxious twerp."**

"**Hey! I'm still here you know!" Tahu said indignantly. **

"**Yeah, I know."**

"**Thanks Gali. And just be glad that he ended up talking the entire time. I couldn't finish the story, so he couldn't kiss you."**

"**Wow, so the whole jelly thing worked out for the best."**

"**Yep. Okay Gali, I'm gonna' try to actually write this story. Can you try to keep Tahu quiet and not looking over my shoulder?"**

"**Sure! Especially after the trouble he's been causing."**

"**Thanks."**

Hide and Go Seek

On the island of Mata Nui, it was Naming Day. Everyone was celebrating, even the Toa Nuva. It seemed like all trouble makers had taken the day off.

"**What are you talking about?" **

"**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" was Nokama93's extremely loud reply.**

**Kopaka, Onua, and Pohatu came running in, looking for the trouble. What they found was Nokama93 beating her head on the keyboard, with Tahu backing away and looking a little scared.**

"**Tahu! What did you do to the author?!" Onua asked.**

"**Nothing! I just commented on the story!"**

"**Tahu, that always has bad side effects. When will you learn to just leave her be?" Pohatu commented.**

**Then Gali came running in. **

"**I leave you alone for two minutes to grab a script, and you anger the author?! Not even two minutes! It was one minute and two seconds!"**

**The author was still spazzing and beating her head on the keyboard. This is what the original story now looked like:**

Hide and Go Seek

On the island of Mata Nui, it was Naming Day. Everyone was celebrating, even the Toa Nuva. It seemed like all trouble makers had taken the day off. M,.vmxm. hx76m88nb76 nbn 6mk8l0-789dt76w2nj5tnhju8 dfa;woidsdjklaasdl;kfjsdfjklsdfjkluioweweuiorweuiosdjknfvgn fr23i904685jklsfjkcl;vuiotrjkwnklve4tuo3489004958340579234-578348-597249573495780fkggdfjklfjkljkgjkdfjweio3i9frvfmjvfrmvfr0w90349230-e3p0-c,kvgf gvmjugrviopsdf[plasdf';asdfl;,awefopqw4i9034jkfnmcv nmjzsdfjkl;rjil;erio;8fjimfrejioo;fjiopsdfjkjiogfruio3t5asdffbnbgjth5y n b …

**Nokama93 finally stopped for air- then resumed her screaming. We're going to go ahead and leave her there.**


	3. Chapter 3

Story 3

Author's Note: I have Tahu tied to my bed post, far away from the computer, Lewa is tied right next to him, Pohatu and Gali are out running errands, Onua is out doing something that I have no clue what it is, and Kopaka is sulking on my bed. I should be able to finish this story 

"**Why do you write these stories? They are a waste of your time."**

**The end of my bed is right behind the computer chair. That is bad.**

"**Why?! Why must you decide to talk now?! I was perfectly fine with you just sulking, so why did you have to become almost as annoying as Lewa?!"**

"**I said two sentences. That is not as annoying as Lewa."**

"**I said 'almost', but either way, you couldn't just be quiet and let me write could you? I haven't even gotten the title down!"**

"**Because, I don't see the point. Why don't you just quit now?"**

"**Kopaka, think of all the readers that would be horribly saddened by that. No, annoying Toa or not, I must finish this story!"**

"**Whatever."**

"**Will you at least let me finish the title?"**

"**Maybe."**

"**Oh joy!" Note sarcasm**

**(Good thing Kopaka just returned his attention to Lewa and Tahu)**

A Day in the Life of a Grump

(Otherwise known as Kopaka)

This is a biography of Kopaka Nuva, the toa of slush, crabby, careful, and just plain cranky dude. Please, sit back, relax, and watch the sparks fly as Nokama95 gets beaten up because Kopaka himself is looking over her shoulder, and… has now taken over the keyboard.

"**Kopaka! Give that back!"**

"**Never!"**

"**How am I supposed to post this on FF if you have the keyboard?"**

Kopaka is a very brave and handsome Toa. He is very heroic, and the smartest of all of the Toa.

"**Kopaka! Give me the keyboard!" (I've yelled his name so many times I almost forgot what it means.)**

"**No! I shall never surrender!" Kopaka said, and then he gave a girlish giggle.**

"**You've gone insane haven't you?" Nokama95 was now looking horrified.**

"**Heehee."**

**She then ran to grab the phone and call Gali, Pohatu and Onua. **

"**Shoot! I knew I should have gotten them cell phones!"**

**Just then, all three came in the door.**

"**Guys help! Kopaka has my keyboard and he's gone insane!"**

"**Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later." Onua said.**

"**What should we do?" Pohatu asked.**

"**What did you do to Tahu and Lewa?!" Gali asked, shocked when she saw Tahu and Lewa tied to the bed posts.**

"**They wouldn't stop bugging me."**

"**Gmmph!"**

Kopaka Nuva is also a wonderful author, unlike the previous writer of this biography. His agility is proven by the way he jumps around on the bed to stay out of reach of his teammates.

**Tahu and Lewa were now free, and everyone was trying to come up with a plan to catch Kopaka.**

"**If we don't get him soon he'll ruin-destroy my keyboard."**

"**How's that? And did you just use tree-speak?" Lewa asked.**

"**Since he's still jumping around he'll yank the cord out. Then if he gets mad at the fact that it isn't working, he'll break it! What would I tell Mom? And I actually do speak fluent Le-Matoran."**

"**Just tell her that an insane Toa destroyed your computer." Onua replied matter-of-factly. **

"**My mom doesn't even believe in things like Voya Nui, she'll never believe that there were Toa in my room! Especially not insane ones."**

Kopaka Nuva has had many victories over many villains and evil rahi. He is a wonderful warrior, and really loves teamwork.

"**Guys! Did you see what he just typed?!"**

"**Mata Nui! He really is insane!" Tahu said.**

**Everyone was now speechless. They just stared at each other for about five minutes. **

**In that time:**

"**I'm a pretty princess. La lala lala." Kopaka had abandoned the keyboard, and was now prancing around the room.**

**Lewa and Nokama93 passed out, Onua's jaw dropped halfway to the floor, and Tahu, Pohatu, and Gali just stared.**

**Then, Gali and Tahu snapped out of their trances. **

"**I'll try hitting him with some fire."**

"**No! That could hurt him. Let me try first."**

"**Why should I? I'm the one with the real power."**

"**Maybe, but I'm the one who can heal. Raw strength is not going to help at all in this situation."**

"**All right, but we have to catch him first. Wake up the author and Lewa, while Pohatu, Onua and I try to think up a plan."**

"**That won't go well." Gali muttered under her breath.**

"**Hey! I heard that."**

"**Oops."**

**To Be Continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

Story 3, Part 2

**Lewa and Nokama93 had been revived, the team was trying to come up with a plan, and Kopaka was doing ballet.**

"**La lala lala. I'm a pretty princess."**

"**This madness has to end!" Onua 'stated'.**

"**What makes you say that?!" Nokama95 was getting cranky. That's what happens when an insane Toa steels your keyboard and then takes a sudden interest in ballet.**

**Everyone was bickering, when Gali broke in to say. "I know how to fix the problem!"**

"**How?!" everyone asked in unison.**

"**We… Dance!" she then began to disco.**

"**Nooooooooooooo!" everyone said, once again in unison.**

**It was just then that Kopaka woke up. It had all been a dream!**

"**Morning Sleeping Beauty." the author greeted Kopaka.**

"**Hmph."**

**Then, Kopaka noticed an irresistible urge to dance. The world was doomed.**

**The End**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note for all Stories**

Hey there devoted readers, meaning, four people. I have put all Bionicle stories on hold and am working on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hopefully, any cliffhangers aren't too horrible. The reason I am doing this is because a change needs to be made.

Now don't think this means that I am no longer a devoted Bionicle fan, I just need a change of pace. I thought a comedy would be enough, but apparently it wasn't. I've written several Bionicle stories that haven't been posted, so there are definitely more on the way.

Anyone who actually was really enjoying the stories, please accept my humblest apologies.

Thank you to all, and may God bless you,

Nokama93


	6. Chapter 6

Story 4

"**Okay, I've almost given up on writing these stories, but I'll try again. If you stop me, think of all the disappointed readers that are going to try to kill me. Then, I'll tell them that you made me quit, so they'll then try to kill you. Got it?! Tahuuu?!"**

"**Fine!" **

"**I don't trust you!"**

"**You certainly have that right oh beloved author."**

"**Thank you Onua. Gali, can you hold off Kopaka and Tahu."**

"**Sure. I shall do so with… DISCO!"**

"**Riiight. Anyways…"**

Once upon a time

"**Seriously! Why must you do the fairy tales?!"**

"**Agh! You have forced me to the limits! It's time to bring in the secret weapon!"**

"**Hah! What would that be?"**

"**Veggie Tales! Oh, and the pretty pink bunny. By the way, they're singing a polka."**

"**NO! Not the polka!" everyone screamed simultaneously.**

"**Let's do the polka everyone!" the Boyz in the Sink began to sing. "Funky polka!"**

"**Please! Make it stop!" Tahu started screaming.**

"**Fine!" Nokama93 said. "Boyz, you can change."**

"**Do the moo shoo! Do the Moo shoo! Do the moo shoo! Do the moo shoo! Kung pao"**

"**Fine! I've had enough! I'll let you write!"**

"**Good! Alright guys, you can go back to the sink now."**

"**Uh, we're boyz, not guys." Mr. Lunt replied.**

"**Oh, sorry guy- I mean boyz."**

"**That's fine. See ya next time. And remember, God made you special…"Larry began.**

"**And he loves you very much." Bob, who had just popped in, finished.**

"**Goodbye!" They both cried simultaneously. **

**That was the last straw. Nokama93 had quit on these stories. If you must kill someone, please focus your anger onto Tahu, Kopaka, and Lewa. Nokama93 out.**

**Author's Note:**

**They were driving me insane! I just couldn't take it any longer. As I said, please focus any flaming on the three aforementioned toa, instead of me. Unless you want to heat up my breakfast.**

**Once again,**

**Nokama93 out.**


	7. Chapter 7

"**Hey Nokama93, how come you quit those short stories you were doing?"**

"**Well Gali, to tell you the truth, I just couldn't take your teammates anymore. Them and my little brother."**

"**Your little brother?"**

"**Yep, he just wouldn't quit harassing me about how you were all out of character. He just wouldn't let it go. Then, he'd just keep reading them, then criticizing me! He couldn't just say it once."**

'**Well, could you please try it again? I really liked writing with you. We could just work on it as a 'girl's night', instead of having all the guys too."**

"**Well… I suppose we could try again."**

"**Cool! When do you want to do it?"**

"**How about next week?"**

"**Sure! See ya' then!"**

"**Yep, see ya'!"**


	8. Chapter 8

Story 5

Story 5, part b

_The next week…_

"**Hey there Gali!"**

"**Hey Nokama93. Wow, I just noticed how confusing your name was."**

"**Huh?"**

"**If Turaga Nokama ever comes to help with these stories, it could get annoying. The only thing keeping you two from sharing a name is those numbers on the end of your nickname."**

"**You'd just have to use my real name if that happened."**

"**What?! And expose yourself to the entire fan fiction world?!"**

"**That's what the 'bleep' is for. Now, we have to get to work on that story. Should we do a fairy tale, soap opera, romance, or 'James Bond'?!**

"**You haven't tried a soap opera or 'James Bond' yet, so let's do the soap today and 'James Bond' next time."**

"**Great! Alright, here goes…"**

"**Well? How do we start?"**

"**Um… I don't know how to do a soap."**

"**What?! You're the all knowing author! How can you not know how to write a topic?!"**

"**I'm a **_**thirteen year old**_** author. I don't watch soap operas, and I've only been writing stories for a few years. That and I haven't finished my tea yet, I still need my caffeine."**

"**Wait, you're only thirteen, and yet you already need morning caffeine?"**

"**Yeah! You try starting your freshman year two years early. It's stressful! It'd be stressful if I was the same age as any other freshman. High school is difficult. And I'm supposedly a smart one in the family, at least academically. **

"**Aren't we supposed to be writing a story?"**

"**Oh yeah. Well, let's just do the 'James Bond' instead. Not only will that be more exciting, I could probably… oh, actually, I've never seen a James Bond movie. Agh! I just realized something!"**

"**What?! Is something wrong?!"**

"**Horribly! It's too much to bear!"**

"**What, what?!"**

"**This is an herbal tea! There's no caffeine!"**

"**Okay, you're almost worse than my brothers."**

"**Sorry, I'm sleepy and haven't had breakfast yet."**

"**Go eat breakfast then."**

"**No, we have to work on the story."**

"**You are extremely difficult. Did you know that?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Did you know that we just spent almost two pages on a conversation instead of writing that story?"**

"**Yep. Well, let's get started."**

"**Finally! Now, how should it begin?"**

"**Um… about that…"**

"**What now?"**

"**I've never seen a 'James Bond' movie. I have no clue what the basic theme is supposed to be like. That and my two little cousins are here."**

"**You mean the ones you sent after Tahu?"**

"**Yep. They're extremely noisy. It's really hard to concentrate when you have two dogs barking, one two year old screaming, and a four year old yelling. That and I still need some caffeinated tea."**

"**Are we ever going to get this story done?"**

"**Probably not. We need to choose a different to- Agh! They pulled out the Sesame Street fire truck! I can hear it from all the way across the house! Oh the horror!"**

"**I don't hear it."**

"**Of course not! You're a figment of my imagination."**

"**Huh?"**

"**Never mind. What should we do now?"**

"**Go eat lunch. It's almost noon now."**

"**Wow, we spent all that time just blabbering, and didn't get even get the title down for the story. Oh well. Let's just try again after lunch. Hey! I just noticed something!"**

"**What now?"**

"**I got more stories done with your team around than I have with just you and me. They were inspirational! That is horribly ironic."**

"**Wow! You're right. You got several stories started, and actually finished one while they were being inspirationally obnoxious. Do ya' think we should call them back?"**

"**Sure! But not until after lunch. Where do you want to go Gali?"**

"**Hmm… How about TGI Friday's©?"**

"**I was thinking Ruby Tuesday's©."**

"**Oh yeah! I love their salad bar!"**

"**Great! Let's head out. Wait. Do you have a driver's license?"**

"**No, why?"**

"**I'm only thirteen. I can't drive either. We might just have to walk into town and get McDonalds©."**

"**That's fine. It'll give us some girl bonding time before insanity strikes."**

"**Alright, let's go. We've got a couple miles to walk before we get there."**


End file.
